Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
