dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just had sex on a roof
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
