just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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