Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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