He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
