he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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