I heard we made out
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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