and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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