Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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