i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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