So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
