I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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