EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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