Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
