I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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