She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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