I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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