Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize