would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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