My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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