shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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