I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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