xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize