So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
