I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
