id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
