You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
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I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
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Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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