can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
