I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
