I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
