FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
