If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
