I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
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He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
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Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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