just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
