what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
