Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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