I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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