remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
