I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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