i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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