Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
