I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
