i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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