I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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