Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
