Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
