I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
