i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
