WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He felt like a one man threesome
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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