So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
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How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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