Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
