Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
