why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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