I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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