i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
