you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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