he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
