Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
