I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
