After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
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One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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