Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
