im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
