There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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