If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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