tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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