There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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